i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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