I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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