5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
