i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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