it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
