Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
