My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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