Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
