I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
