It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
