I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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