We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
