I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
