I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
