I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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