whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
