Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
