A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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