he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Someone shattered a urinal.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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