Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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