It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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