pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You ate ashes out of my bong
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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