i'm signing you up for texting rehab
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
