Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
