That's intense
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
