I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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