I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
