So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
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