trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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