So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize