I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
