White coat. Heels.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
