this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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