how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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