just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I need a beard to bite.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
