Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
