I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
