Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
