I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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