Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
not ubering you a puppy
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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