yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
