I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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