Do vagina's smell?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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