On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
