she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
