From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
