He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
