oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
