You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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