he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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