you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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